LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND, BUT WHAT ABOUT WHEN IT’S NOT

Lizzy Hill

Is Our Love Always Patient and Kind?

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

Love is patient

Love is kind

Love does not envy

Love does not boast

Love is not proud

Love does not dishonor others

Love is not self-seeking

Love is not easily angered

Love keeps no record of wrongs

BUT….

The world is impatient

The world is unkind

The world is full of envy

The world boasts

The world does not honor others

The world is incredibly self-seeking

The world is easily angered

The world keeps a record of wrongs

…we are commanded to be in the world but not of the world. So what do we do when we don’t feel the love God commands us to have for our spouse?

When My Love Does Not Mirror God’s Love

It is easy for the evil in the world to creep into our marital relationships. We are told to have a Christ-like agape love in our marriage. However, most of the time, we aren’t trying to mirror God’s image or follow his commands for love.

You might be thinking, Lizzy, I do not do that! You’re crazy. Welp, have you ever taken your spouse for granted? Have you kept up with how often you’ve done the dishes versus your husband? Have you used sharp words in your anger? Have you lost your patience with your partner?

I know I can quickly give example after example of the times I’ve done any of the things above and more. 

I bring up these situations because we have to reshape how we act and pray to follow through with our love for our spouses.

We are quick to think if we aren’t doing the “really bad things,” then we’re living in a righteous marriage, but if we aren’t following 1 Corinthians 13, we are living in sin. 

However, thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord, we can do the things we don’t want to do (Romans 7: 14-25).

We Were Made For Each Other

In the beginning, God made man (Genesis 1:26-27; 2:7), and God saw it wasn’t good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). God had man review all He had made and still couldn’t find a mate for man; therefore, He made man a suitable helper, a woman (Genesis 2:20-25). 

We were made for our husbands. 

God is omniscient and omnipresent (Psalm 139), which literally means God made you and your husband for each other. 

God Commands Love. Why is it Hard?

God commands a husband to love his wife and a wife to respect her husband (Ephesians 5). 

God commands us to love our neighbors (Matthew 22: 35-40). Scripture is full of references to love (depending on your translation, the bible mentions the word love 300-600 times). 

So why do we have such a hard time actually loving our spouses, who we were made for in this life? 

Sin is the answer, as it is for many, many situations. We grow resentful, get prideful, and keep a record of wrongs. We let how the world describes marriage harden our hearts to how God made marriage forgetting love is patient, love is kind.  

However, there is a way for us to grow in our love for our spouses.

We Grow in Love Through Prayer

When I started writing this blog, I had to realize something about myself. While I am praying for “my marriage” and “my husband,” (as it is written in my prayer journal,) I’m not giving my marriage the time and attention it needs in my prayer life. 

I spend a vast amount of time in prayer asking the Lord for a pure, reverent life (1 Peter 3:2), praying to control my tongue (James 3:6-8) and for a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4), but I must give that same level of depth in my prayer for my marriage.

I challenge those reading this blog post to pray 1 Corinthians 13 over their husband daily. Pray for a loving heart, pray for patience, respect (Ephesians 5:33) for your husband (especially when you don’t feel that respect in your heart), and pray for your sinful nature not to compare your marriage to others.

We Deepen Our Love Through Daily Intake of Scripture

Another way to deepen or renew the love for our husbands lies in the Word of God. Our daily time reading and studying scripture leaks into other areas of our lives. 

We can’t know what to pray over our husbands if we don’t first seek out God’s Word to guide us on our prayer journey. When we center our lives around Christ, we see things like servanthood, respect, patience, and more throughout scripture.

I challenge you to read the word of God each day. Find time in your schedule, give yourself grace, and try again tomorrow when you fail. 

The story of redemption showcases the most incredible love; while we were still sinners – deemed for Hell, God sent His son for us to die on the cross and rise again in three days FOR US. That’s the ultimate love story. And the only way to deepen that relationship with God is to dig into his word daily.

The Only Way to Deepen our Relationship with God is to dig into His word daily. Lizzy Hill

Love is an Intentional Action 

Finally, we have to be intentional with our actions when it comes to love. The feeling of love is an emotion just like any other – it ebbs and flows. 

However, we know love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). Remember, your husband is human – imperfect and sinful, just like you. 

Cover each other in grace. Spend time in prayer together, heed his guidance (whew, that’s a hard one for me!), and remember we are living to glorify God. Sometimes that means we have to change even if our husbands don’t change.

Thank you for following along on this journey of love with me today! Thank you to my Aunt Lisa for allowing me to speak on this subject (and her grace in my lack of meeting deadlines).

Writing for Him,

Lizzy

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