Do you have a friend in your life that tells it straight? Is she gracious yet bold with the truth? Well, I do! Sometimes her words hurt and wound deeply. My flesh rises, but then I remember true love hurts. God’s word tells me, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” Proverbs 27:6. No matter how deep the wound, I would rather have a faithful, loving friend than a deceitful enemy! This friend told me years ago I was a perfectionist. My prideful mind responded, “Well, yea, what is so bad about that?” Little did I know her words would begin restoration in my heart I did not even know I needed. Let me be clear! I know God is the one who restores, but He often uses the wounding words of a friend to cut you deep so true healing can begin.
Perfectionism: Really?
After my pride settled down, I began to see that I was a perfectionist. However, I did not understand why it was all that bad? Before I move on, I need to let you know, I am sure, no, I know, God is still tearing down the lie of the enemy which I bought into. There are places in my heart that are still deaf to the destruction perfectionism can bring. But in this one thing, I am confident, and I hold tightly too daily, “He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion.” Philippians 1:6.
What is Perfectionism anyway?
Websters definition of perfectionism: a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable; especially : the setting of unrealistically demanding goals accompanied by a disposition to regard failure to achieve them as unacceptable and a sign of personal worthlessness.
Let that definition sink in for a minute: the gift that keeps on giving, worthlessness. If your mind is poisoned by the idea that you must be perfect in all you do, you will fail every single time. All failure does is confirm what your mind already believes. I am worthless! This is a never-ending no winning cycle. Your perfectionism says everything but must be perfect. But the problem is nothing is ever perfect enough for the perfectionist.
My Perfectionism is Not Perfect Enough!
The Lord is bringing me to an understanding that my perfectionism is not perfect enough. This is what perfectionism got me to. A shutting down that brought laziness and lack of motivation. That’s one gift I did not want from perfectionism, nor is it one I ever expected.
The idea that if I cannot do it right, mixed with unworthiness, stops you from doing it. Whatever that may be for you. For me, it keeps me from stepping out, asking for help, or even writing this post. Thankfully it has not been debilitating for me. I have not, through the grace and mercy of God, completely shut down. However, the thought has entered my mind more times than I care to admit. Did you catch the perfectionism rearing its ugly head in that last thought?
Perfectionism will sit you down. But God is so much bigger and stronger than this ugly thing called perfectionism! Thankfully, He is perfect and has provided perfection for us.
Jesus Christ the Perfect Lamb of God!
Wow, there is freedom in just writing those words! For a Christian, perfectionism is a sin. A sin in the sense that we think we have to be perfect and the one working and striving to achieve. The truth is we are not, cannot, and will not ever be able to attain it.
However, Christ is perfect, and we must rest in and cling to Him. Christ emptied Himself, came into this darkness, took on the form of a bond-servant, became sin on our behalf, lived the PERFECT LIFE so you and I would be set free from the power of sIn, eternal death, and perfectionism in its fleshy form. Sisters, we must take hold of Christ’s Perfection because there is no other!
Bible Verses to Cling to While God sets You Free From Yourself!
The disease of perfectionism is an epidemic. The only cure is Jesus Christ! While God has you in His process of sanctification, to build you and construct you into what He wants you to be, take hold of these verses. Let the truths of His word seep deep into your heart. Read them. Memorize them until you know and are confident that Christ’s work for you and in you is perfect enough!
Matthew 6:33-“But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Psalm 18:32-“The God who girds me with strength and makes my way blameless.”
Romans 3:23-“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”
Ephesians 2:8-“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not or yourselves, it is a gift of God.”
You are not alone!
I never want to give you and I permission to dwell in our sin of perfectionism. However, I do want you to know you are not alone! With the saving help of Jesus Christ, we will one day be set free. We have other sisters in Christ who struggle with perfectionism and are being released from this bondage. I am leaving a link to an articles about perfectionism that I hope will be helpful for you. However, please let the word of God be the first resource you pick up. Because it alone has changing power.
Hope for Perfectionist in Progressive Sanctification: By Lara d’Entremont.
I would love to hear from you! What gift have you received from perfectionism that was completely unexpected?
How and what has God used to bring you out of bondage to your perfectionism?
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