How to Love Someone When it is Hard
I pulled this post out of the bottom of the pile today and re-read it. I needed the reminder that loving and loving well is sometimes a hard road to travel. Love often walks on gravel roads.
But worth all the dust it can bring. I hope this reminder brings encouragement to you too!
What Made Me Think About How to Love Someone?
It was a day like most days. I was heading into town to buy groceries and run a few errands for the family. On my way into town, I pass a church building which sits on my left.
This church has a sign out front that someone always posts a question, a quote or a word of encouragement.
I read it every time I pass by. It gives me something to ponder as I drive. On this day the sign read:
“Love Walks on Gravel Roads”
I must admit this quote made no sense when I first read it. I asked myself, “What do you mean love walks on gravel roads?”
It rolled over and over in my mind.
As I went about my daily routine,
•I thought about what love looks like.
•I thought about gravel roads and what they looked like.
Then it made sense.
What Are Gravel Roads?
I grew up when gravel roads were a thing. Where I live now, you have to look hard to find them. Even in small towns, gravel roads are not as common as they were in times past.
Mostly when I think about them I think of breezes, swaying trees, babbling brooks. Tranquil and peaceful roads.
Roads that take you away from the hustle and bustle of life.
But on that road to peace and tranquility, a lot of dirt can be stirred up.
When you are driving or riding in a car on a gravel dirt road looking behind, you see a lot of dust.
Dust stirred up by your car tires making contact with the road.
This dust obscures your vision of the trees, the grass and those babbling brooks I spoke of earlier.
Using the analogy of gravel roads helps me understand that loving and loving well hurts.
Biblical Definition of Love
The Word of God defines love this way:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8: “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”
As I thought about how the Bible defines love I realize that love, my love and the love of others is not always a reflection of God’s definition.
Love Hurts
Love is much like a gravel road. It can get dirty, it sometimes hurts, and the journey is often a long hard one.
When our lives come in contact with someone else, it can stir up a lot of dust. Our feelings get poked, jabbed and sometimes we bleed.
For me, it is easy to want to avoid gravel roads.
•Who wants to “purposely” get their feet dirty?
•Who wants pain?
Those little gravels hurt when you walk on them with bare feet. I do not know about you but I want to get to my destination, and with as little obstacles as possible.
Sometimes the destination of love is a long hard walk. There are obstacles at every turn.
When I look at love, as defined in 1 Corinthians, I can see I fall so short. I am not always patient, am sometimes arrogant and often want to brag.
I do not always count it a joy to suffer and I too often meditate on offenses.
If I know this about myself, then I must understand the people around me, the ones I love the most, also struggle with some of the same issues concerning love.
Jesus Demonstrated Perfect Love
There was only One that loved perfectly and, that was Jesus Christ. Even though He loved perfectly, He Himself walked a road of suffering.
The love He gave came with a price. It cost Him His life and the wrath of God!
Christ gave love, no matter the cost to Him. He gave it when many did not accept it and love Him back.
He walked the gravel road of love with no concern for Himself. Christ’s motivation to sacrifice His life came from the love and Honor He had for His Father, and the love He had for mankind.
I hope these words have been an encouragement and a reminder of what it will cost to love our Church family, our family members, and friends. It has humbled me, convicted me of my ignoring and misunderstanding of what true love is and reminded me that:
“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friend.” John 15:13
“We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” 1 John 3:16
“Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.” 1 John 3:18
” Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:11
” We love, because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
“And we have this command from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.” 1 John 4:21
Love is worth the hard, messy work. Do you agree? Ask God today to open your eyes that you may see what the true destination of loving really is.
PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE: 4 BIBLE VERSES FOR HELP WITH TAMING THE TONGUE
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Challenging but encouraging post. Thanks for sharing it and for visiting my blog. Blessings.
Your welcome! Enjoyed reading your posts! God Bless:)
Seems I have walked down tons of dirt roads most of my life. We lived overseas in a third world country with the worst roads in the world, well what few roads they had anyway. Coming back to the states to the great roads even the dirt ones was a joy. We have come to appreciate so little after traveling those overseas roads. Maybe thats the best thing about hard roads, they makes us appreciate so little. We have been stuck several times in the Andres mountains in Bolivia because of mud, stuck in Papua New Guinea because of mud slides and rain that never quits. I think when we expect our roads to be paved, no bumps, ,lines telling us what side of the road to stay on we lose our appreciation and thankfulness. This was a very good post, challenging, thanks.
Thank you for sharing part of your journey! It is so amazing to me how God teaches us through different places we walk. You are right when you say, ” The best thing about hard roads, they make us appreciate little things.” Thank you for your encouragement! God Bless you:) Have a wonderful week!
Oh Lisa, you have this gift. I will never look past another gravel road without your words. Thank you God for Lisa. ❤
Carlen, you are so sweet! Thankful you enjoyed the article! God Bless!